3 days ago was my 3 month anniversay.
i remembered, cause it was one of the best days of my life.
my boyfriend forgot.. because we’ve spent literally everyday since then, together.
i went the whole day keeping it to myself.. i really couldn’t tell you why i did that.
actually, i can.
i didnt want to be the only one to remember as if i was some kind of emotionally clingy crazy obsessed girl who keeps track of everything.
i mean, ive never done a LEGIT relationship before.. sure, ive had relationships with plenty of boys but i never took it seriously.
i was also young & lacked emotions. real emotion.

with that said, i didn’t want to say anything because i thought maybe 3 month anniversary’s are lame.. or non-important. not special? irrelevant? ive never been with anyone i cared about for that long. 

ultimately,  

i was keeping it as a counter-attack. 

he was being anti-social again.. almost like he didnt want to be around my friends even though i know it wasnt the case.

“so, what do you wanna do?” he asked.
“well.. i was thinking we could all go to purdy, considering 3 months ago today….
“oh, shit.. forreal? damn nigga be slipppinnn’ ” he said..
how could i possibly be mad at an honest response?

i gave him a box of chocolates with the word “FUNKY” and a picture of a monkey on it, he looked as if he was about to cry.
he felt horrible that he forgot.
his feelings were so loud it made me feel even worse. 
i felt bad for making him feel so bad.
i seriously felt like an asshole.

today, i have time for myself.
 i have time to do anything i want, really. 
but what do i wanna do?
spend time with my boyfriend.
i want to think of the next faggoty gay thing im gonna do for him.
what am i actually doing?
our laundry.
clearing a space for him to put his clothes in my dresser.
listening to songs that remind me of him.
waiting for him to come home. 
oh, gawd.
im someones girlfriend……